Tips on Concern Trolling: Godless Thanksgiving.

This has already made the rounds quite a bit, so there isn’t much new to say on the subject.

The tl;dr is that the President didn’t make a reference to a deity in his Thanksgiving address. Despite what you may have heard from Fox, he didn’t actually issue a proclamation that we’re an Atheocracy. He also didn’t defecate on a Bible while Lovecraftian priests summoned forth the dark lord, Loth-Nor to ensure America would be drowned in the blood of the innocent.

So, yeah, he didn’t do any of that. But that didn’t stop people from losing their shit over the lack of a mention of a deity–their deity. Naturally, if he mentioned Zeus or Vishnu, they would have also lost their shit.

There has to be a reason for this. I can think of two possibilities.
1. God is like Tinkerbell, and if you don’t constantly reassure him that he’s real, he’ll disappear taking America with him.
2. Or this is a political maneuver to bolster support of the Republicans in the upcoming election. Remember kids, Obama hates God!

Christians, I have to advise you as your official concern troll. You simply cannot let this stand. You must hammer this guy every time he fails to mention God. For example, the other day an aide asked him if he wanted anything from Starbucks. This fucker said he wanted a “gingerbread latte.” He didn’t say he wanted “a gingerbread latte, thank you Jesus.” Whenever he mentions a proposal for jobs, demand of him that he mention God as a possible job that could be created. And if he has an update on the War on Terror ask how many Taliban Jehova was able to kill that week.

So keep this up Christians! It’s totally rational and not annoying at all. Oh, and thank you Jesus!


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